The house is not just a physical space, it is an emotional refuge, a place where we find calm, balance and security. Therefore, not all people deserve to enter that intimate space, even if they have the same surname. The renowned Japanese writer Haruki Murakami, known for his profound reflections on the human soul, isolation and emotional bonds, inspires us to think about who should really walk through the door of our home.

Here are 3 ideas inspired by Murakami’s vision that explain why, sometimes, you have to close the door even if it’s a family.

1. The people who drain your emotional energy

Murakami writes, “When I came out of the kitchen with the two cups of coffee, she was gone. He was gone, as if he couldn’t stand a single minute more in a quiet place.”
This illustrates how some people do not tolerate the peace of others. And worse, when they enter your home, they leave an environment full of discomfort, which remains floating even after they leave.

There are family members who come with complaints, judgments or sarcasm, who minimize your decisions or criticize what you built with effort. Even if there is a blood tie, there is no obligation to allow someone to emotionally unbalance your home.

Inviting someone to your home should add harmony, not subtract from it.

2. Those who don’t respect your boundaries

Murakami said, “No matter how hard you try, you can’t force someone to fit into your world if they don’t want to be in it.”
Many times, there are relatives who do not respect schedules, spaces, decisions or privacy. They do it “because they are family”, as if that justified the invasion. But the home is not a place to impose, it is a place to share with those who know how to be without imposing themselves.

If a person—no matter how close—crosses your boundaries repeatedly and shows no intention of changing, inviting them into your home is giving up your own well-being.

3. Those who don’t believe in your growth

In his novel Kafka on the Shore, Murakami mentions, “Sometimes, getting lost is the best way to find yourself.”
There are family members who don’t understand the new version of yourself that you’re building. They constantly remind you of how you were before, belittle you with “jokes” or make fun of your projects. They don’t believe in your change, they don’t celebrate your achievements, nor do they rejoice in your evolution.

Is it worth opening the door of your house to someone who cannot rejoice in your transformation?

The answer is simple: no.

🧠 In short

Not all people, no matter how much blood they share, deserve to be in your home. Because your home is your refuge, your sanctuary, your safe place. And as Murakami said, “Sometimes, you have to close a door to be able to hear the silence you need so much.”

Taking care of your space is not selfishness. It’s emotional health.